खबरें तो एक बहाना है, हमें आपको डराना है

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मो. अनस सिद्दीकी

आजादी की लंडाई से लेकर आज तक अखबारों और खबरों ने जनता को जगा-जगाकर काफी परेशान किया है। इतने लंबे समय से पत्रकार केवल जनता को उकसा कर और भंडका कर सरकार के खिलाफ बरगलाते रहे हैं। अब भला हो, हमारे जैसे हिंदी के कुछ शूरमा चैनलों का जिन्होंने उस परिभाषा को बदल दिया है। अब तो खबरों के पुराने जुमलों से बोर हो चुकी जनता के लिए नया सवेरा आया है।

पूरी दुनिया में आधुनिकता का रंग चंढकर बोल रहा है। खबर वाले भी प्रिंट से डिजिटल और ब्लैक एंड व्हाइट से कलर हो चुके थे मगर उनका अंदाज नहीं बदला था। वही भ्रष्टाचार, अपराध और रोजमर्रा की घटनाओं से पब्लिक भी आजिज आ चुकी थी। अब जाकर हमारे जैसे कुछ समाचार चैनल वालों की समझ में बात आयी है। हमने ठान लिया है कि जनता को किस तरह के समाचारों से कैसे जगाना है। जनता भी काफी उत्साहित है, तभी तो हमारे जैसे चैनलों की टीआरपी रेटिंग बंढ रही है। हमने अघोषित सा तकिया कलाम बना लिया है, ‘खबरें तो एक बहाना है, हमें आपको डराना है।’

पहले की खबरों में कोई दम ही नहीं था। आज देखिए, एक से बंढकर एक दमदार खबरें। खबरों की धार देखकर आप डर जायेंगे कि कल हो न हो। आपको हॉरर सीरियल देखने की जरूरत नहीं पंडेगी। हम आपको दिखायेंगे कि किस तरह धरती का सफाया हो जायेगा। तो देखिए माया सभ्यता की भविष्यवाणी, 2012 के बाद दुनिया का नामो-निशान मिट जायेगा। हममें से कोई जीवित नहीं बचेगा। इस के बाद एक से बंढकर एक डरावना बैकग्रांउड म्यूजिक और तबाही की तस्वीरें। हां, आपने ‘बिग बैंग थ्योरी’ वाली खबरें देखी थी कि नहीं। उसमें भी कोलाइडल तकनीक से धरती के विनाश की भविष्यवाणी हमने ही की थी। इसके अलावा धरती पर ग्लेशियरों के फटने और अंतरिक्ष प्राणियों के हमले से धरती के विनाश से जुंडी कई रोमांचक खबरें तो हम आपको दिखाते ही रहते हैं।

इसके बाद भी अगर आप में से कोई यादा ही डर जाये तो घबराइये नहीं। हमारे कई भाई पूरे समय सभी मनोरंजन चैनल के सीरियलों का अपडेट आपको दिखाते रहते हैं। एक तरह से आपको फुल पैकेज। खबरिया चैनल देखिए और अपने सारे मनपसंद धारावाहिकों के मजे भी लीजिए। आपका दिन कैसा गुजरेगा? आपकी किस्मत क्या रंग लायेगी? इसके लिए भी सुंदर-सुंदर टैरो कार्ड रीडर से लेकर लैपटॉप वाले बाबा तक को हमने भविष्यवक्ता बना रखा है। वैसे हम अंधविश्वासी नहीं हैं मगर देखा देखी तो करना पंडता है। एक दिखायेगा तो हम कैसे पीछे रहेंगे।

 
उसके बाद फिल्मी दुनिया से भी जुंडी एक से एक खबरें। शाहिद का करीना से ब्रेकअप कैसे हुआ? ऐश्वर्या ने करवाचौथ कैसे मनाई? रनबीर कपूर और दीपिका ने वेलेंटाइन डे कैसे मनाया, वगैरह। अब जिसे शिकायत करने की बुरी आदत है तो वो करेंगे ही कि हम पूरे दिन उसी पर बने रहते हैं। आखिर आप ही बताइये हम क्या करें? इतना बंढा देश है। हजारों समस्याएं हैं। इतनी बंडी जनसंख्या है तो बिजली, पानी और संडक की समस्या होगी ही, स्वास्थ्य सेवाओं की कमी से कुछ लोग मरेंगे ही। अब दिन भर इन्हीं के पीछे पंडे रहे तो फिल्मी दुनिया और क्रिकेट की मुख्य खबरों को छोंड दें क्या? इन्हीं से तो रोजी-रोटी चलती है।

भाई बात ऐसी है कि आलोचना करने वालों के मुंह तो बंद नहीं किए जा सकते। अपराध से जुडें कार्यक्रमों को दिखाने पर भी कुछ लोगों की भौंहें तन जाती हैं। अब आरूषि मर्डर केस को ही लीजिए। हमने महीनों तक उसकी एक-एक परत खोली। हत्यारा घर में कैसे घुसा?

उसने आरूषि को कैसे छुआ? आरूषि की स्कर्ट कहां तक उठी थी? आखिर कितनी मेहनत करने के बाद आपकी मनपसंद खबर हम बनाते हैं।

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